As reported to Jacquelyne Froeber about three years ago, I started a new job as the vice president of contracting for a legal services company. I was excited to do something I loved at a new company. However, I was less excited about dealing with symptoms of a urinary tract infection (UTI). I had the typical signs: pain, pressure, and urgent need to urinate. But the symptoms were intermittent and there was no blood in my urine. Strangely, when I went to see my doctor, my urine analysis showed normal results. No signs of a UTI. Despite that, due to the symptoms, my doctor diagnosed it as a UTI and prescribed antibiotics. I took the pills and tried to focus on work. My job is completely remote and involves many virtual meetings, but I did my best not to run to the bathroom every 30 minutes.
By the third doctor’s appointment, I was desperate for relief. The urgency had increased. I couldn’t have hour-long meetings without excusing myself to go to the bathroom. And the pain was getting worse too. I felt embarrassed having to repeatedly excuse myself to go to the bathroom – what 35-year-old woman can’t finish a meeting? But what else could I do? I knew I had to be honest with my boss. I told her I was going through a medical issue and still didn’t know what it was. So, in a third doctor’s appointment, I asked to be referred to a specialist (a urologist).
When I had the appointment with the urologist two weeks later, the pain was so intense at times that I couldn’t stand fully. I was lying hunched over on the examination table when he said my symptoms were not normal. I felt so relieved when he said living like this was not sustainable and committed to identifying what was causing all the pain. The following weeks are a blur of tests including a cystoscopy, a procedure that allows your healthcare provider to visualize your bladder. To avoid missing work, I scheduled the first and last appointments of the day. If I couldn’t do that, I immediately let my boss know I couldn’t be counted on.
Surprisingly, all blood tests and imaging had normal results. It sounds strange to say I was disappointed, but I was. I was devastated. I knew this pain was not normal – none of this was normal. Even my urologist was confused. He ordered a biopsy of tissue from my bladder. That’s when I got the test results and was diagnosed with non-muscle invasive bladder cancer (NMIBC). The word cancer felt like a quick punch to the stomach. I felt like I lost my breath. I knew it was a possibility, but how did a UTI turn into cancer? Immediately, I started thinking about my job. I had just started my job three months ago. What was I going to tell my boss? Should I tell my boss? Will I be fired? Will I lose my new insurance?
Once the initial shock passed, I knew I had to be open and honest with my employer no matter what happened. I went to our meeting with a plan to continue working during treatment and shared my schedule, including the days I couldn’t work. I also let them know that I wasn’t sure how I would react to surgery or treatment but that work was important to me (as well as medical insurance) and working was best for me. Fortunately, everyone was extremely supportive.
In retrospect, sharing my intentions at the beginning was helpful in continuing to work while dealing with all the medical appointments, phone calls, scheduling of activities, and everything that happened after the diagnosis. In the following months, I had procedures to remove the tumors and six weeks of treatment with Bacillus Calmette-Guérin (BCG) for bladder cancer, which involves injecting tuberculosis bacteria into my bladder and keeping it there for two hours so my immune system can attack any cancer cells that may be growing. The surgery and treatments worked, and now my latest test results show no evidence of cancer. But NMIBC has a high probability of recurrence, so I have a maintenance plan that includes BCG treatments six times a year.
I continue to be open about bladder cancer and how it might affect work. Sometimes I tolerate the treatment very well, and the next day I wake up ready to go. Other times, I have a lot of pain and I am too tired to get out of bed. Either way, my colleagues know that the day after treatment is flexible for me. This gives me time to listen to my body and do what’s right for my health without the pressure of asking for last-minute sick days or offering too much for that day. Overall, I have learned to give myself permission to balance work and bladder cancer.
Does it matter if I have to go to the bathroom five times during a meeting? I know nobody notices it more than me. And I don’t limit my sick leave permissions to feel unbearably uncomfortable. Could I finish work while falling asleep in front of my computer after treatment? Of course. But it’s okay to say, “this is all the energy I have right now, but I’ll work at 100% tomorrow.” I know I’m very lucky and not everyone can ask for permission at work or feel comfortable sharing their diagnoses. But resources such as the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network (BCAN) can be helpful. Every person with cancer has different needs. For me, it was the right decision to share my plan with my colleagues and have a plan for unexpected events. I have been posting about managing bladder cancer on LinkedIn and that has helped me connect with other people working and going through the same thing. Bladder cancer may disrupt work at times, but it won’t prevent me from achieving everything I want to do.
