By Leo Babauta
When we strive to grow, we are actually aiming to embrace a new, more expansive version of ourselves. Whether it’s cultivating mindfulness, simplifying our lives, being more compassionate, or becoming more disciplined in our endeavors, these desires represent a shift towards a new identity that goes beyond our previous self-perception.
Attempting to expand beyond our old identity is a continuous process. When we venture into uncharted territory or seek personal growth, we are essentially shedding our outdated self-image. However, the gravitational pull of our past self can try to drag us back to familiar patterns.
In situations like striving to be more mindful, living simply, being disciplined, trying new things, or breaking bad habits, the resistance from our old self can be strong. It manifests as distractions, fears, procrastination, and comfort-seeking behaviors that hinder our progress.
To overcome this resistance and evolve beyond our old identity, we can follow these steps:
- Set the intention of an expanded self: Identify who you want to become and why it matters to you. Commit to the actions that align with this new self-view.
- Practice the actions and being: Challenge your old self-view by taking actions that are outside its comfort zone. Embrace the expanded self by embodying it daily.
- Notice when & how you’re getting pulled back: Be aware of the fear, resistance, and rationalizations that keep you tethered to your old identity. Take notes and stay curious.
- Give yourself compassion, but keep practicing: When faced with fear, offer yourself kindness and understanding. Take small steps towards your new identity, creating space for growth.
