At 61 years old, I find myself in a difficult marriage with a husband who is obsessed with sex. Despite his erectile dysfunction (ED) and my own health issues, he continues to pressure me for sex, causing me physical and emotional pain. I have vaginal atrophy, arthritis, and fibromyalgia, and sex is simply not an option for me anymore. My husband refuses to accept our limitations and continues to seek sexual gratification through non-consensual means. This has left me feeling worn out and resentful.
Financial constraints and our disabilities make leaving the marriage seem impossible, but I fear staying is even worse for both of us. I am reaching out for support and guidance in finding a way out of this toxic relationship. Your advice and help are greatly appreciated. – Concerned Wife
Joan responds
It is clear that this marriage is unhealthy and unsustainable. Your physical and emotional well-being should not be compromised for the sake of someone else’s sexual gratification. I urge you to consider seeking assistance from your adult children and social services to facilitate your exit from this toxic marriage. Your happiness and safety are paramount, and there are resources available to help you transition into a more supportive living situation.
Furthermore, it’s essential to recognize that your husband’s sexual desires are natural, but they should not come at the expense of your comfort and well-being. While exploring other outlets for his sexual expression, it is imperative that he respects your boundaries and ceases any non-consensual behavior. Ending this hostile and forceful relationship is the best course of action for both of you.
I encourage you to prioritize your own needs and safety. You deserve to be in a supportive and caring environment, free from coercion and hostility. Please seek the assistance you need to move forward from this situation. I am here to support you in any way I can. – Joan
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Joan Price has been Senior Planet’s “Sex at Our Age” columnist since 2014. She is the author of four self-help books about senior sex, including her award winners: “Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex” and “Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved.” Visit Joan’s website and blog for senior sex news, views, tips, and sex toy reviews from a senior perspective. Subscribe to Joan’s free, monthly newsletter.
