Marriage can be a real challenge. Even couples who seem to have it all together can experience lows that put a strain on their relationship. If you’re looking for signs that your marriage may not last, you’re not alone. The national divorce and annulment rate in 2021 was approximately 2.5 people per 1,000, according to the CDC. While this is lower than the 4 per 1,000 rate in 2001, it’s clear that some marriages aren’t made to last.
“There’s no definitive list of the catalysts for divorce, as every relationship is different,” says Moraya Seeger DeGeare, in-house relationship expert at Paired, a relationship app for couples. But there are some common themes, including what’s known as the “five-year fizzle,” which is a trend of increased relationship friction around the five year mark, according to research from Paired. Divorce is also more common at certain times of year, particularly spring and late summer.
Even the most self-aware couple might have trouble recognizing their marital issues. “Signs and red flags around potential divorce are typically much easier to see from the outside,” according to therapist Laurie Singer, LMFT. However, there are specific patterns or behaviors that typically lead to divorce. Here are some of the main signs that your marriage might not last:
– Emotional, mental, physical, or financial abuse: Any form of abuse should never be ignored and can indicate a severe issue in the relationship that may be beyond repair. Seek professional help and needed support.
– Power imbalance: Relationships should have balanced power, control, and decision-making. Seeking individual therapy from a mental health professional who specializes in intimate partner violence or unhealthy relationships is crucial in these cases.
– Lack of respect: Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of respect. Couples struggling with respecting each other should consider whether change is really possible in the relationship, and connect with safe loved ones and a relationship therapist.
– Lack of intimacy: Intimacy is crucial for connection and communication. Consulting with a sex therapist can help with communicating needs and prioritizing pleasure.
– Communication issues: Learning to communicate more effectively with your partner can only help the relationship, and seeking couples’ therapy can help improve communication.
– Not prioritizing spending time together: Make time for your spouse and be spontaneous, through activities like exercising together or having date nights.
– One partner has given up: Marriage demands work from both partners, and when one partner has given up, it can put the relationship at risk.
These are just some of the signs that a marriage may not last. It’s important to recognize and address these issues with the help of professionals, in order to restore the health of your relationship.
