Key Takeaways from Educating Myself on Cult Recovery and Spiritual Abuse
As two individuals in my close circle are recovering from controlling relationships and cultic abuse, I have immersed myself in educating on the subject. I have delved into watching cult documentaries, reading books, and listening to podcasts like Rachel Bernstein’s Indoctrination. Bernstein’s podcast, in particular, has a segment called “Just one thing before you go’’ which I find immensely helpful as it provides psycho-education on protecting oneself and loved ones from spiritual abuse and coercive control. Here are some key takeaways from my learning:
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The easiest way to control someone is to inflate their ego and then put them down. Cults and controlling relationships often begin by making individuals feel special and then devaluing them. This manipulation relies on creating a hierarchy of value, where some people matter more than others. Breaking down this hierarchy can dismantle the control.
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Love bombing is a major red flag. This practice involves lavishing someone with attention or affection to influence or manipulate them. Real love and affection develop over time based on trust, whereas love bombing is immediate and manipulative.
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Morality is never about unconditional obedience to any individual. It involves following one’s conscience and practicing integrity. Blind obedience to authoritarian figures or toxic partners is not moral behavior.
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Forgiveness is not required if someone shows no remorse for their actions. Abusers count on their victims forgiving them repeatedly to escape accountability. It is acceptable to cut ties with unapologetic abusers.
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Whistle-blowing is a brave and ethical act. It stops perpetrators from harming others and is crucial in holding them accountable for their actions. Staying silent allows abuse to continue.
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Silence is violence. Keeping quiet in the face of abuse empowers the abuser to continue. Speaking up, while daunting, is essential to prevent further harm from occurring.
These takeaways are crucial in understanding the dynamics of controlling relationships and cultic abuse and are invaluable for anyone dealing with such experiences. Educating oneself on these topics can provide the necessary tools to protect against manipulation and control.
