When I turned 41, my youngest child started kindergarten and I was at a loss. After more than a decade of raising small children, it felt like I was being let go from the only job I excelled at. This was in 2014, and I had been writing for a few years. In 2010, I launched a blog called “Days Like This” to share funny stories about my kids. Despite my hopes for fame and fortune, the blog only attracted a handful of readers, most of them relatives. Eventually, I closed that blog and started a new one called “Half a Cow,” chronicling my endeavor to cook 187 pounds of grass-fed beef. It was a disaster. Hurricane Sandy cutting power to the East Coast was a relief six months into the project.
I wrote in the margins of my life, squeezed in between parenting duties. But with all my kids in school full-time, I had to decide if I wanted to prioritize writing. The transition to full-day school is a significant one for stay-at-home parents, sparking feelings of loss and uncertainty about what comes next. Many parents, like Kate, Suzanne, Nell, and Madeline, found new paths after their youngest started school. Some returned to previous careers, while others explored new interests and opportunities.
For those who continued working while their kids were young, the shift to full-day school was less drastic. Aimee, a lawyer, navigated this transition with more ease due to her ongoing balancing act. As for me, the relief of having all my kids in school was accompanied by anxiety. I considered having another baby to delay facing the uncertainties of a writing career, but ultimately chose to focus on writing.
I didn’t have another baby but continued with my writing. This decision eventually led me to publish a novel at the age of 50. While some may refer to their books as their babies, I believe only a baby is a baby. The transition to school marks the beginning of a process of separation that unfolds over the years, bringing a mix of nostalgia and growth. Our relationships with our children and ourselves evolve with each milestone, offering new beginnings.
Daisy Alpert Florin, author of “My Last Innocent Year,” resides in Connecticut with her family. Follow her writing on her Substack, “Girls With Feelings.”
