A year ago, I was desperate to write some truly captivating sexual encounters…
Crafting steamy love scenes can be quite challenging for me. It’s not that I don’t enjoy them, because I absolutely do. I relish reading intimate moments in books, and I adore the enjoyment of physical intimacy in real life.
However, as an author, I find it daunting to create erotic scenes due to my limited personal experience in the adventurous aspects of romance. My preference leans towards traditional lovemaking with my husband Nick, often in the missionary position in the comfort of our bed.
Being a mother of three young children, efficiency has become the primary element in my bedroom escapades. I seek pleasure but also aim for a quick resolution. Yet, depicting vanilla lovemaking in a novel where characters are swiftly satisfied in mere minutes won’t ignite the passion of readers or elicit admiration from book influencers.
Despite the fact that novelists fabricate stories, a part of me feels fraudulent when trying to pen down wild encounters, akin to an individual who has never witnessed a safari endeavoring to narrate the mating rituals of Serengeti lions. I grapple with imposter syndrome when it comes to scribing steamy tales.
I confronted this dilemma when creating a novel called “Marriage Vacation” for the TV series “Younger” a few years back. We were tasked with penning an incredibly scandalous sex scene, almost to the point where readers might toss the book out the window in arousal.
My editor Christine and I engaged in numerous exchanges as we received directives from the show’s producers to ramp up the heat. I remember texting her discreetly under the table during a dignified Christmas Eve dinner at my mother-in-law’s house.
The specific details escape my memory, but I remember it being quite provocative.
In the realm of literature, sex is currently a prominent theme, spanning from the kinky to the risqué to even fantastical scenarios. For my latest novel “The Sicilian Inheritance,” I desired to infuse it with all things delightful — sumptuous food, exquisite wines, captivating men and women. However, I constantly hit a roadblock when it came to the sensual encounters, especially considering I was navigating pregnancy and the postpartum phase while writing.
When my writer’s block on romantic scenes became insurmountable, I sought insights from my friends over coffee. Consulting real women about their turn-on triggers when reading seemed like a logical starting point.
I recall a gentleman seated nearby nearly spluttering his latte when my friend Erin remarked, “Include more foreplay involving nipple stimulation and avoid using clichéd descriptors for male anatomy.”
Most of the women I conversed with expressed a desire for assertive female characters in intimate scenes within novels. Many women, ranging from young adults to seniors, emphasized their weariness of contrived scenarios or flawless characters depicted in books and movies.
One friend quipped, “Describe how my backside wiggles when spanked. And quit with the wall encounters. Who ever had successful sex being lifted against a wall?”
Efficiency was another common theme, mirroring my sentiments. “Make it passionate and swift,” one friend advised.
Another suggested, “Infuse elements of enjoyment! Numerous romantic scenes take themselves too seriously. Ensure the characters relish the moments. Real intimacy involves flesh meeting flesh and the exchange of bodily fluids. These moments are sensual and humorous simultaneously.”
Furthermore, a friend recommended injecting a sense of danger and thrill, albeit without dire consequences. “Push boundaries but not excessively. Forbidden settings heighten the allure,” she added.
Surprisingly, why hadn’t we engaged in these discussions earlier? It marked the first instance we were openly discussing our preferences and dislikes in bedroom scenarios together. The dialog was enlightening and pulled me out of my creative rut (even nudging me towards embracing a tad bit more adventure between the sheets).
One friend disclosed her affinity for vanilla intimacy in reality, yet affirmed, “In literature, I crave extravagant, dreamlike encounters. It ignites fervor to return to everyday intimacy with my partner. The novel represents fantasy, bridging into an alternate reality before reverting to our familiar domain.”
That was the key revelation. Rather than drawing from reality, I ought to embrace the realm of fantasy. I could script sensuous trysts in alluring, off-limits locations like a beach cave or ancient ruins in Palermo.
The collective input from these brilliant women became my guiding beacon. I believe I successfully portrayed enticing romance in “The Sicilian Inheritance.” In fact, an early reader confided that a scene prompted her to seek out her spouse (the scene unfolds in a beach cave).
Defining “good” intimacy is subjective. Each individual gravitates towards distinct aspects, and therein lies the appeal.
What qualities render a scene sensual to you?
Jo Piazza is an esteemed podcaster, editor, and the acclaimed author of “The Sicilian Inheritance,” “We Are Not Like Them,” and other literary works. She resides in Philadelphia with her spouse and three children. Follow her on Instagram, if you so desire.
P.S. Have you read, “I didn’t have sex for the first two years of my marriage,” and did you have sex on your wedding night?
(Photo by Yurii Shevchenko/Stocksy.)
