Joan provides guidance to a woman accustomed to ‘edging’ who is facing challenges with orgasms with her new partner.
At 74 years old and widowed for eight years, I recently entered into a new intimate relationship. Although we share a strong connection, including sexually, I am unable to achieve orgasm with my new partner despite his efforts. I am able to reach orgasm by myself three or four times a week through a specific method known as ‘edging,’ which involves reaching a point of high arousal and then pausing before continuing to achieve orgasm.
While my new partner is a great lover, he tends to focus on genital stimulation too quickly. However, I struggle to communicate my preferences during sex due to my shyness and discomfort with giving instructions. I recognize the importance of addressing this issue and wonder if I am too old to change.
Joan responds:
It’s important to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. He is likely eager to please you, but without clear guidance, he may not know how to do so. Overcoming shyness and learning to verbally express your preferences can enhance your sexual experience and intimacy with your partner.
Sharing Your Concerns
Initiate a conversation outside of the bedroom to discuss your sexual connection openly. Start by acknowledging your partner’s patience and express your desire to share what leads to your orgasm. Remember, it’s never too late to improve communication and enhance your mutual satisfaction.
Learning to communicate during sex can be empowering and erotic. Consider guiding your partner or demonstrating what works for you, as this can lead to a deeper understanding and fulfillment in your intimate relationship.
Do you have a question for Joan? Check her previous columns or submit your question to sexpert@seniorplanet.org.
Joan Price has been Senior Planet’s “Sex at Our Age” columnist since 2014. She is the author of several books on senior sex and offers valuable insights on her website and blog.
