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Remember that scene in Broad City when Ilana sees police officers in the subway station, so she stashes her weed in her vagina? She dubs it “nature’s pocket” and it turns out she’s not the only one using this pocket in unexpected ways and putting questionable, non-approved items in her vagina. And no, we’re not just talking about creative household sex toys. People with vaginas have attempted to smuggle or hide loaded pistols, Rolex watches, marijuana pipes, crack, lighters, money, cellphones, cigarettes, makeup, fireworks (yes, really), alcohol, and a host of other drugs and stolen items in their vag.
Of course, few people would actually consider inserting things like loaded guns and fireworks inside their vaginas. (In case there’s any confusion — please don’t.) But sometimes, in an attempt to make things more interesting in the bedroom, some do make questionable decisions about what actually goes in there. Sure, your vagina can stretch and accommodate quite a few things, but being able to do it doesn’t mean you should.
“When considering what is safe to put in the vagina, it’s important to remember that the vagina is a delicate and sensitive part of the body,” Dr. Rakhee Patel, a board-certified OB-GYN with Pinewood Family Care Co. said. Shape, size, and cleanliness of the object are all things to consider here, because sticking the wrong thing in there can result in a host of health issues, from major injuries and tears in your vaginal canal to infections and irritation… not to speak of the embarrassment at your OB-GYN’s office.
Turns out, the list of approved things to put in your vagina is short and easy to remember.
- A penis. Penises are totally allowed to enter mouths, vaginas and buttholes. Just remember to put a condom on it to avoid STIs and unwanted pregnancies. A note: Flavored condoms should only be used for oral sex, as the flavor chemicals can irritate your vaginal lining.
- Fingers. Fingers (attached to hands, of course!) also feel pretty good. As long as the person’s nails are trimmed short with sharp corners filed away and kept clean, digits are a good time. You can improve your safe sex practices by washing your hands beforehand (or wearing latex gloves!) and adding lube.
- Lubricants. Speaking of lube, there are still lots of myths about lubricants. Oil-based lubes are actually OK, according to Lilly, a sex toy expert and blogger at Dangerous Lilly.
- Period products. That includes lubes (see above) and period products that go directly in your vagina, such as tampons and menstrual cups or discs. “These items are made with materials and ingredients that are tested for vaginal safety,” Dr. Patel explains.
- Sex toys. According to statistics, the global adult sex toy market was valued at $32.7 billion in 2022.
- Food & select other objects. According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, board-certified OB-GYN and gynecology professor at Columbia University.
Other products should be avoided entirely, including douches and harsh, scented soaps or vaginal washes, as they can disrupt the natural pH and bacterial balance, leading to infections or irritation. Remember that your vagina is self-cleaning, so you really don’t need any extra products down there to do it for you. Beyond that, any product not specifically designed to go in your vagina really isn’t meant to be in there. And in general, it’s important to prioritize products specifically designed for vaginal health and always read labels and instructions.
