In a relationship, the dynamic between the bedroom and everything outside of it is significant — and vice versa. While some fortunate partners can maintain a healthy sex life no matter what external factors are at play, many of us experience fluctuations in libido based on work, finances, stress, family life, and other variables. In a long-term relationship, it is common to go through phases of less frequent intimacy. However, when these periods extend and seem never-ending, it may be time to consider walking away from a sexless marriage.
It’s important to note that the absence of sex in a relationship is not inherently problematic. Therapist Lea Trageser emphasizes that as long as both partners are okay with the lack of physical intimacy, it is not a problem. However, when one partner desires a sexual connection that is not being met, feelings of loneliness and insecurity can arise, leading to resentment and disconnection.
Research has shown a correlation between sex and mental health, with more frequent sexual activity associated with better mental well-being. If you find yourself in a sexless marriage and desire change, you may be considering your options. But how do you navigate this situation?
A sexless marriage is typically defined as one in which partners engage in sexual activity no more than 10 times a year. It’s more common than you might think, with studies reporting significant percentages of couples experiencing long periods without intimacy. This extended lack of sex, often referred to as a dead bedroom, can indicate deeper issues within the relationship that need to be addressed.
Various factors can contribute to a sexless marriage, including stress, communication issues, changes in relationship dynamics, health concerns, lack of spontaneity, and mismatched libidos. If lack of sex is causing problems in your relationship, it may be a sign of underlying issues that require attention.
Deciding when to walk away from a sexless marriage is a personal choice. Factors to consider include whether sexual satisfaction is being sought outside of the relationship, the importance of sex in the partnership, and the overall health of the relationship. If signs of deeper incompatibility, such as consistent lack of desire, emotional disconnection, resentment, or unwillingness to address the issue, are present, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
If you are looking to address and potentially fix a sexless marriage, communication is key. Open and honest dialogue with your partner about your needs, concerns, and desires is essential. Avoid blame or criticism and show empathy towards your partner’s feelings. Working towards understanding and addressing the root issues can help revive intimacy in the relationship.
