Kate Bowler: How to Speak to Someone Who’s Suffering : The Hearty Soul

Offering comfort to someone in deep pain inadvertently can sometimes have the opposite effect. Despite good intentions, our words can make the person feel worse without us realizing it. Author Kate Bowler’s experience with stage 4 colon cancer sheds light on the importance of being mindful of what we say to those in pain.

Diagnosed at the age of 35, Kate was faced with the grim reality of having less than a year to live. Instead of succumbing to despair, she used her ordeal to educate others on the complexities of suffering. Her book, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved, challenges the notion that positive thinking can cure all ills.

Bowler’s book

Kate’s candid reflections on her journey received acclaim from the likes of Bill Gates, who lauded her for bravely tackling a difficult topic with honesty and humor. The book serves as a poignant reminder that not all pain has a purpose and that platitudes can often do more harm than good.

Cruel words unintended

Reflecting on her earlier belief in the prosperity gospel, Kate acknowledges the insensitivity of cliches like “everything happens for a reason” when faced with a life-threatening illness. She urges people to exercise caution when speaking to those in pain, emphasizing the importance of companionship over empty words.

Speaking with caution to a person in pain

As a cancer survivor, Kate shares valuable insights on how to support loved ones through difficult times. Rather than trying to minimize their suffering or offer unsolicited advice, she advocates for simply being present and offering emotional support. In times of crisis, a listening ear can often be more comforting than well-meaning but hurtful words.