Jada Pinkett Smith Says Friendship Is More Important Than Romance in a Marriage : The Hearty Soul

Renowned actress Jada Pinkett Smith is celebrated for her honesty, whether on her Facebook Watch series, Red Table Talk, or a simple Instagram post. In a recent video, she reflected on her 26-year marriage to Will Smith and admitted to prioritizing romantic love and neglecting her ego.

Jada shared, “I had an epiphany the other day. I had to call Will and say, ‘You know what? I have to thank you for enduring my rage.’ It made me realize how enduring love must be because we don’t have all the answers from the start. We learn as we go through life, breaking things as we seek answers.”

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Jada and Will tied the knot on New Year’s Eve in 1997 and have been transparent about the challenges and triumphs in their relationship ever since.

Reflecting on her past beliefs, Jada confessed, “I used to believe that romantic love was the highest form of love until I realized how unmet standards of romantic love often turned into a cold heart, leading to hate and vindictive actions towards someone you ‘say’ or ‘said’ you loved.” She emphasized, “It may be the only form of love you can fall OUT of.”

Describing her shift in perspective, Jada admitted, “At one point, MY romantic standards consumed me, demanding hell to pay if unmet. These standards fueled my ego, leading me to understand that my ego and heart couldn’t coexist. This realization transformed my union with @willsmith from a contaminated marriage to a life partnership grounded in ‘devotional friendship’.

Jada’s closing words were profound, “The only path in life is to find a love that allows us to give our best selves, even if it doesn’t match our initial expectations. Love, love, and love some more.”

Jada’s revelation highlights the danger of idealizing romantic love, setting unattainable standards, and nurturing resentment. By shifting her focus to friendship within the relationship, the ego dissipated, paving the way for a selfless partnership.

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The Importance of Friendship in a Marriage

Jada’s experience underscores a universal truth: friendship is a cornerstone of a thriving and enduring relationship.

Defined as “a person whom you like and enjoy being with,” a friend captures the essence of how one should view their spouse fundamentally.

Relationship expert John Gottman asserts, “Happy marriages are built on a deep friendship.” Studies support this claim, indicating that couples with a strong friendship report higher levels of satisfaction. Emotional connection, some experts argue, surpasses physical intimacy in sustaining a marriage.

Research, like a Purdue University study, has linked friendship to enhanced sexual experiences within relationships. Prioritizing friendship enhances various facets of a relationship, fostering trust and intimacy.

Laura VanderDrift, an expert in psychology, highlights, “Emphasizing the friendship in a relationship could improve other areas of connection. Choosing a partner who is first and foremost a friend can offer numerous benefits.”

A fulfilling relationship is evident when both partners genuinely enjoy each other’s company, engage in shared activities, and respect one another. Building emotional intimacy through friendship fosters open communication and mutual respect.

How to Build Your Marital Friendship

• Allocate quality time together
• Communicate regularly, even about everyday matters
• Prioritize honesty and loyalty for trust
• Discover common interests, try new experiences, create memories together
• Share life goals and support each other’s aspirations
• Show respect, celebrate successes, offer support in tough times, express gratitude, and practice forgiveness

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