I had anticipated a week of grieving the upcoming empty nest as my daughter prepared to embark on her gap year before attending Pratt Institute in New York City. I was looking forward to celebrating my friend Emma’s English country wedding while my daughter took flight for her gap year. However, unexpected circumstances have left me feeling torn and conflicted.
My daughter’s visa for her gap year in Portugal has not come through as planned, and my BFF’s husband is actively dying, causing me to miss important moments if I travel to Europe. Additionally, two of my closest friends are going through a breakup, leading to the dissolution of a marriage in which I have been very involved. To top it off, just before departing for seven weeks in Europe, I learned that I will have to leave the home where I raised my daughter for the past 16 years.
As if that wasn’t enough, I am now faced with the possibility of rehousing my beloved dog Gaia due to housing instability and the relocation of caregivers. The idea of no longer living with my housemate April and her cat Emmy, whom I have shared a home with for twelve years and who helped raise my daughter, is also weighing heavily on my mind. The magnitude of potential change and loss is overwhelming.
It seems that life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs when we least expect it. Despite my best-laid plans, I find myself in the midst of a whirlwind of change that I did not foresee. The upcoming departure of my daughter, my friend Emma’s wedding, and my partner Jeff’s move to California were all changes I anticipated. However, a series of unplanned events has now added to the complexity of my current transition.
Reflecting on past experiences, I am reminded of the chaotic time surrounding my daughter’s birth in 2006 when my family was in turmoil. Now, as she transitions into adulthood, chaos once again descends upon us. I am struggling with feelings of guilt as I leave her behind in California to travel to Europe for work commitments. The juxtaposition of her being alone at home while I am away during this crucial developmental phase is unsettling.
In the midst of these challenges, I find myself moving forward with a sense of resilience and determination. Despite the uncertainty and upheaval, I am focusing on the opportunities for growth and new experiences that lie ahead. While the path may be filled with obstacles and hurdles, I remain optimistic about the journey ahead and the lessons that await me. As I navigate this turbulent period, I am reminded that in the face of adversity, there is always room for growth and transformation.
