Parenting young children often involves making decisions that may not always make your child happy. A prime example of this is managing screen time, which health agencies often discourage, as the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry do.
Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, PhD, who founded online parenting service Good Inside, suggests that as parents, it is essential to understand that it is not our job to make our kids happy. As a parent, it is important to make key decisions and empathize with our children’s feelings, while the children’s job is to experience those feelings.
Dr. Becky illustrates this with a metaphor of air travel. Just as passengers would trust a pilot to make the right decisions for their safety, children should also trust their parents to make the right decisions for their well-being. She emphasizes the need for parents to feel confident in their decisions and reminds them that it’s okay to make changes when and how they see fit.
Dr. Becky shares three tips for parents to manage screen time without feeling guilty:
1. Recognize that feelings of guilt around screen time might not be about screen time at all, but about a lack of support and resources for parents. Understanding the source of the guilt is crucial for addressing it effectively.
2. Remember that parents make the rules and should not be afraid to take charge, even if children resist new screen-time rules. Being intentional and clear about the rules helps everyone understand and follow them.
3. Trust that using screen time is not “ruining” your child. It’s okay to change your mind and rules about screen time if something isn’t working, as parents have the authority to make those decisions.
Dr. Becky emphasizes that parents should not feel guilty about embracing their authority as parents and making the best decisions for their children.
