Let’s say your partner wants you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps they start piling on all the reasons why you should. You feel guilty—and they know that—but they don’t stop. They talk about how you never do anything for them, or how they always do what you want to do, or how badly they want whatever it is they’re asking for. Other than being a straight-up relationship red flag, this is an example of guilt-tripping.
says She says it’s all about exerting influence and power.
Experts In This Article
a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster, and researcher
clinical psychologist, public speaker, teacher, and author
clinical psychologist
It’s vital to note that the person being guilt-tripped may not even be in the wrong. says a trauma-informed relationship therapist, podcaster, researcher, and co-author of What I Wish I Knew.
In various ways, this kind of behavior boils down to a desire to gain power or control. says a clinical psychologist specializing in trauma. People who’ve experienced negative relationships or are disempowered are often the type to utilize guilt-tripping as a means of claiming control. says Dr. Kelley, she adds, describing a behavior typical in the victim narcissist (or the narcissist who acts as if others are always out to get them).
